Anger…How to Deal!

Well I thought about writing a post every week about my depression, thinking that maybe if I get it out that I might help someone with theirs and the wonderful comments I get can help me deal with all my junk going on.
I received such a great response about my depression post and I just want to THANK YOU all for such great comments.  Some know exactly what depression is like and some don’t, however I didn’t get judged for it and that means the world to me.  Let me just say that I don’t think my depression is any worse than anyone else’s, in fact I know there is a lot of people dealing with a WHOLE lot more than I have ever dealt with.
So these posts, once a week will talk about me and me slowly letting go and letting everything out and surface so maybe I can finally find the light in my heart to just let go.

Today I am going to talk about my anger.
I get so upset real fast.  If someone looks at me wrong, I get pissed beyond words, but yet if you just get to know me you would know I am one of the sweetest people you have ever met and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.

Okay, so right now I’m pretty pissed off so I am going to talk about it and get it out so it doesn’t sit at me and eat me up.
FEDEX!
Okay!  So Saturday we went to my parents house to help my mom, she loves Christmas but is in so much pain she can’t decorate, wrap, ect.  So we all went over there and we left maybe a little before 1pm.
Everything went fine at my moms, we helped her & ate dinner over there, my parents love when we come over.  We don’t go over there often because it’s about an hour or more drive and they live up a 3 mile dirt road which I absolutely hate lol.

Anyway, when we got home I was expecting packages, as I usually do get packages everyday.  But there wasn’t any.  Okay, no big deal   So we settle in and get the kids calmed down ect.  I go on the computer and start going through all of my email.  I find a confirmation email from Fedex that I had a package delivered.  WHAT!?  I didn’t get any packages!  So I got up and looked more outside, around the house, on the back porch, inside my husbands work truck and found nothing.  My first thought is that someone stole them, and I am still thinking that.  What gets me is I moved my children from an unsafe neighborhood and into a much quieter place, and friendly neighbors who wave to you when you drive by and actually say hi!  Never in a million years did I think someone would come to my door and steal packages from me.
Anyway, so I call Fedex once I realize the packages are no where to be found, at this time I thought it was only one package.  Well I get to talking to the guy at fedex and low and behold I now have two packages that were delivered that I never received.  Grrrrr!  Okay!  So the search is on.
He told me someone will be calling me on Monday and we’ll get this all worked out.  So early yesterday morning I did receive a call from a lady from Fedex getting the facts ect.  NOW, there were 3 packages delivered!  THREE!!!  I have NO idea what the 3rd one is, who it’s from ect.
So this morning I get a call from my wonderful Fedex driver…Oh…What a joy of sunshine he was!  NOT!

This guy really got my insides in a knot.  Now, not once have I blamed Fedex for not delivering my packages.  I was ‘hoping’ they didn’t and maybe they would be found so they can get delivered, no big deal!
This guy totally went on the defensive, told me that he DID deliver the 3 packages to my house on Saturday, my husbands truck WAS in the driveway but the black SUV wasn’t (My car).
He said, you NEVER come to the door when I deliver packages so how was I to know that you weren’t home!?  Ummm, well excuse me for not getting off my ass in a split second of time to go to the door when you ring the doorbell once and literally run to your truck!  Not to mention I have 4 dogs who think that anyone who comes to my door is someone bad and they have to attack their ankles!  So trying to get my dogs away from the door for me to open it isn’t the easiest task in the world.
He’s like ‘Well, Ma’am, I know I delivered them and it wasn’t my fault you weren’t home.  I will need to talk to my boss now.’  Okay well DUDE!  I never blamed you that you didn’t deliver my packages, this WHOLE time I was thinking someone stole them, NO I don’t trust anyone and YES, I am pissed at the people who stole from FOUR kids!  Maybe they were Christmas presents!  I have NO idea what the 3rd package was, and I did quite a bit of shopping online.
What is weird is my daughter has a brand new scooter by our door and that wasn’t taken.  I don’t know, it’s really weird and I’m extremely pissed to get robbed from.  So, me being a smart ass and just not giving a flying crap I will be posting a little notice on my door.  Not too sure what it will say, but it won’t be pretty!
So now I feel like if it’s a day I know Fedex, UPS and the mail run, I am home-bound until I know everything was delivered and I got it safe and sound.
We did ask my neighbor across the street from us if he saw anything and he said he didn’t and this neighborhood is safe and he’s never heard of anyone stealing from anyone.  So I don’t know!  I am upset about this and that phone call I received from the fedex guy just pissed me off.  Everyone else I spoke with was very nice and polite!  Now, I’m waiting for the boss to call me…hehehe…Yeah, Krissy isn’t going to be so nice now.

Okay so the whole thing is, I was nice this whole time and never blamed Fedex for anything, and then I have the driver probably defending himself and job, but put the blame on me because I wasn’t home.

Anyway, that’s the joy I am dealing with right now being so close to Christmas.
But I am not going to let that bring me down, it’s just something that hopefully will get worked out.

So are you guys done with your Christmas shopping?  I’m not…I still need to get stocking stuffers and figure out all my kids’ “Santa” gifts.  Which is hard because we usually leave a present out for each kid and that’s the BIG one, but I can’t afford the big presents so I don’t know what I’m going to do yet.  I sure like to cut it close, but I am still waiting for my ex to send me some money for his children for Christmas.  Which I am not betting on since he won’t even answer my texts.  What kind of father is that!?  I have been trying to win things on Twitter, and I have won a few things   I am not good at entering blog giveaways, I have no luck in that one lol.
I am hoping to do a Twitter giveaway and maybe even do a Twitter party!  I just need to find a sponsor for it to get some great things!

So this post isn’t so much about depression, more about anger.  I have a lot of it and I bottle it up inside, to the point where it scares me.  So maybe letting it out will help, eventually!

Believe me, I could keep going & going but I’m not   It’s Christmas and time to find the warmth in your heart so that’s what I’m going to try to do.  Just let everything ‘just be’.

You probably won’t see another post from me until after Christmas, I need to get my focus back.  I do have some awesome giveaways  to write up after Christmas so be on the lookout for them.  I will also make another post next week getting back on track with dealing with my depression.
I wish ALL OF YOU a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all that good stuff!
Remember to try to find the joy in your heart and give

Love to all and talk at ya next week!

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